We all have a unique vibrational frequency and we attract people into our lives who match our frequency. If we have a need to be loved out of an insecurity we have codependent tendencies (victims) and we will always attract people with narcissistic tendencies (abusers). It is a karmic, energy sucking cycle that we repeat over and over and over again until we 1- realize what is happening and 2- make a conscious effort to heal ourselves. This dynamic is a social cancer and honest communication with ourselves and others is the only hope we have if we want to cure it.
I was the codependent in romantic relationships and in friendships. I mean, obviously. I can’t imagine a person with narcissistic tendencies would publicly admit to a character flaw. But maybe they would admit it to themselves if they believed it is okay to be broken. Bullies are misunderstood and unfairly labeled. Both the “victim”and “abuser” of unhealthy relationships are victims.
I do not view my experience as me being the good person who was taken advantage of by the bad person. I see it from an observer’s view. We are both good people with some bad psychological wounds and we simply have different, learned styles of interacting. I think we fail when we view things of this nature with a villain/victim perspective. I think we fail when we view anything from just that perspective. That is an incomplete picture. Things are rarely that simple.