I was born and Raised in Mississippi. Mississippi is located in the Southern part of the United States commonly referred to as “The South”. We have a saying around these parts… “Here in the South we don’t hide crazy. We parade it on the front porch and give it a sweet tea.” It’s true. We stand by that.
When southern women lose control of their emotions it is called pitching a “hissy fit.” And most Southern women are real quick to correct anyone who suggests they throw a fit. We don’t throw them, we pitch them.
Source: Urban Dictionary: hissy fit
During my teens and early 20’s I acted like I was freaking crazy. I pitched my fair share of hissy fits because I was so reactive and also because I learned from the best. Growing up I was not taught how to properly deal with my emotions because my Momma also lacked the ability to control hers. I made a complete ass of myself more than once and since I have come out the other side of that with a temperament that is rather calm and difficult to trigger, I feel obliged to offer some advice for how to control yourself and avoid hissy fits.
6 Steps To Becoming Hissy Fit Free
1) Inform family and close friends of your desire to stop pitching hissy fits. Let them know you recognize their discomfort when you fly off the handle and that you would appreciate their support. It is important to be careful about the people you allow into your space when you are attempting to get a handle on this. If there is someone who often picks fights with you and purposefully does things to upset you or someone who blames you for things you know you are not guilty of, it can be near impossible to control yourself. Those people have got to go. At least until you have a handle on your situation
2) The shame we tend to feel after throwing a major hissy fit is pretty intense.. Sometimes it lasts for months or even years depending on the intensity of rage in any given moment. Let this motivate you. Shame sucks but it serves a purpose. Feel it, learn from it, release it.
3) Begin observing your emotions as they rise. You may have been unaware of the process that took place inside of you prior to the loss of your shit but there was one. Think backwards. What triggered the hissy fit? There was an emotion that rose up inside of you leading up to the outburst. The next time you feel like pitching a good one, stop first and observe what you are feeling. You can observe emotions without reacting to them. You are not your thoughts. Which brings me to number 4.
4) Developing a mindfulness practice. According to Mindful.org, Mindfulness is the basic human ability to be fully present, aware of where we are and what we are doing and not overly reactive or overwhelmed by what is going on around us. I’ve included a short video below about Mindfulness.
5) Apologize to the people you have hurt. It is important to recognize that others have been negatively affected by our behavior. Most of the time we don’t mean to but we cause others a great deal of pain when we lash out at them.
6) Give yourself a break. It takes time to break behavioral patterns. If you are like I was and have a tendency to be self critical, you have got to learn to take control of your negative thoughts about yourself. Everyone is better than the worst thing they’ve ever done. You are not horrible. You will never make progress if you can’t get that inner critic under control. You deserve your own compassion.