“True invitations… which are invitations that you can always reject by kindly saying: “No, thank you.”, and there’s no punishment or retaliation of any kind for not having accepted. If there’s punishment, then it wasn’t a true invitation, it was hiding a request or a demand that brings distortion to the spirit of the potential interaction.”
— Ra Uru Hu
When we enter into any kind of relationship, there are often unspoken expectations. They can belong to one partner or both and those involved are rarely conscious of the manipulation that hides below the surface.
A person may believe they are being accepted for who they truly are and loved unconditionally. They may believe they are accepting the truth of who their partner is and offering unconditional love in return but as the relationship unfolds. “I love you” becomes “I love you until…”
-Until you do something that challenges them, their world view, their ideas about who they are, their ideas about who you are and their ideas about who they think you should be.
-Until you trigger their insecurities and unhealed issues related to abandonment.
-Until you stop giving them what they want from you.
-Until you decide you no longer feel the same way you once did and attempt to leave the relationship.
In unhealthy relationships it is quite common to suffer severe consequences when you try to leave the relationship.
Read between the lines.
The unspoken truth from your personality disordered lover:
I will flip on you so fast your head will be spinning. You will realize that all of those values you expressed at the beginning of our relationship and thought we shared… well, that was really just me telling you what I thought you wanted to hear. I will take the information I have learned about you, particularly the ways in which you have been wounded and I will use that knowledge as a weapon in an attempt to wound you even more severely. I will do my level best to damage your self esteem beyond repair by exploiting your deepest insecurities. I will threaten to publicly humiliate you and I may just follow through by putting intimate details of our relationship and things you shared with me in private online for the world to see.
it’s your job to keep me happy. It’s your job to read my mind and know what I need… and to give me that. Always. Forever and ever or at least until I decide I don’t want you anymore. I am far more important than you are so my happiness and my desires should be put before your own EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I can’t control my own emotions nor can I take responsibility for how I feel so I am going to make everything inside me your fault. You are a horrible person and I am a helpless victim.